Somewhere I Belong
by pinkpinkblink
Summary: Riku's thoughts as he is swallowed by the darkness of Kingdom Hearts. Songfic to 'Somewhere I Belong' by Linkin Park


Somewhere I Belong by DarkAutumn  
  
Theme: Kingdom Hearts  
  
Genre: Angst  
  
Summary: Riku's thoughts as he's swallowed into the darkness of Kingdom Hearts. Sonfic to 'Somewhere I Belong' by Linkin Park.  
  
DISCLAIMER: All affilates associated with Kingdom Hearts belongs to Squaresoft, Inc. All affilates associated with 'Somewhere I Belong' by Linkin Park belongs to Linkin Park.  
  
Falling, falling forever. Nothing changes; nothing will. I'll just keep falling until my dying day.  
  
When this began  
  
I had nothing to say  
  
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me  
  
Shadows stretch and conform below me. I can feel their cold hatred pour over me, like the cool lemonade over ice that Sora, Kairi and I used to drink on the hot days at Destiny Island. I am that ice. Cold. Alone. Hollow.   
  
I was confused  
  
And I let it all out to find That I'm not the only person with these things in mind  
  
Inside of me  
  
Just thinking about Sora and Kairi makes these tears fall. I'll never see them again. I'll only have these lost memories to dwell on. These cold, empty memories.   
  
But all the vacancy the words revealed  
  
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel  
  
Nothing to lose  
  
My mind lands on a certain memory from. Sora and I were maybe 5 and 6, respectively. It's one of my favorites.  
  
MEMORY  
  
Sora and I were standing on the alcove above the Secret Spot, just watching the ocean. There was a ship coming in, carrying the mayor's daughter. We had been looking forward to this day for months. Sora had counted down the days by scratching Roman numerals into the sand. Anyhow, the ship had just landed in port, and many of the island were crowding around it. So many, in fact, that we couldn't see the girl when she disembarked. But Sora, being Sora, began jumping up and down, waving his arms enthusiastically and yelling, "Hey! Hey girl! Up here!" Of course, who wouldn't notice a small boy yelling like that. Everyone looked up, including the girl. She giggled and waved shyly back. Sora looked immensly proud of himself. I laughed, of course. Who wouldn't? Later, we met the girl, who was sitting on the beach. Sora introduced us, and asked her name. She was Kairi. She had just come from Hollow Bastion, a place far, far away.   
  
END MEMORY  
  
Now that I think about it, I almost destroyed Kairi's home. I never even stopped to consider it before. Why am I thinking about in now? Oh. I suppose it's because all the guilt is coming back to me.   
  
Just stuck, hollow and alone  
  
And the fault is my own  
  
And the fault is my own  
  
They say envy can do strange things to people. Perhaps envy is what did it in for me. I couldn't stand the fact that Sora and Kairi just might love each other. I heard Kairi, that day. The day she said, "Sora! Let's go! Just the two of us!" Those words shattered me, mind, soul, and body. And then, to make matters worse, I found the drawings in the Secret Place, Kairi depicted by Sora and vice versa. That was when Ansem came to me.   
  
I want to heal  
  
I want to feel  
  
What I thought was never real  
  
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long  
  
Yes, I knew Ansem before Maleficent. He told me that he could give me anything. I told him that all I wanted was Kairi's love. He laughed and vanished. But not before saying, "Open your heart to the darkness, and anything is possible." That was when I began to fall.   
  
I want to heal  
  
I want to feel  
  
Like I'm close to something real  
  
I want to find something I've wanted all along  
  
Somewhere I Belong  
  
When I met Maleficent, it had been after Destiny Island had vanished. I was roaming the worlds, looking for any trace of Kairi. I was in Traverse Town, near where the Destiny Islands had been, when Maleficent appeared. She told me that I had been replaced by my dearest friend. I told her I didn't believe her. She told me to be in the Third District in the evening. Sure enough, Sora showed up, accompanied by two strange looking people. Sora was ecstatic to see me, and said he had been all over looking for me. He then introduced me to his companions, Donald, Court Magician, and Goofy, Captain of the Guard, both of Disney Kingdom. I asked him if he had seen Kairi, but he hadn't. He showed me his newfound strength by defeating one of Maleficent's little minions, and I discovered the power of the Keyblade. Then he and Donald started bickering like old friends. I dissapeared, leaving a very confused Sora in my wake. But Maleficent hadn't been lying. I was alone.   
  
And I've got nothing to say  
  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
  
I was confused  
  
Slowly I began descending into darkness. Maleficent had told me that Kairi's heart had been stolen by one of the Heartless. I vowed to get it back. Slowly, I began to succumb to evil. Ursula, Oogie Boogie, Captain Hook, all failed. Even Maleficent fell at the hands of Sora. But not before Ansem returned. My heart was now dark enough for him to possess. I was pushed into the back of my mind, forced to fight my friend, and watched in horror as Sora fell victim to his own Keyblade, by his own hands. He had done it to save Kairi. And myself.  
  
Looking everywhere/Only to find that it's  
  
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind  
  
So what am I?  
  
Ansem had grown powerful enough to now not need me. He vacated my body, leaving me to my own free will. I gathered my strength and headed to End of the World.   
  
Sora, of course, was already there when I arrived. I followed them, slowly, so they would not know I was there. I went through the World Terminus, and was shocked at how many worlds Sora had gone through to find me.   
  
What do I have but negativity  
  
'Cause I can't justify the  
  
Way everyone is looking at me  
  
Nothing to lose  
  
Nothing to gain  
  
Finally, they faced Ansem for the last time. The fools heart was so overcome in darkness, that he fell. But his demise would mean the closing of Kingdom Hearts, and the end of all things. I couldn't let that happen. I summoned the last strength I had and teleported into the chamber, holding the doors so Sora, Donald and Goofy could escape. I sacrificed myself for them. So did the king of Disney Kingdom, King Mickey. Together, we fell into darkness.   
  
Hollow and alone  
  
And the fault is my own  
  
The fault is my own  
  
And now. I'm stuck. Falling, and falling, and falling. I can never break free. I can never escape. I'm stuck here until the end of time. Falling. Hollow and alone.  
  
I will never know  
  
Myself until I do this on my own  
  
But finally, I know that I've done something that matters. I saved the worlds. I saved Sora. Sora and Kairi are free to love each other, without my interference. They'll be happier this way. Without me.  
  
And I will never feel  
  
Anything else until my wounds are healed  
  
I will never be  
  
Anything 'til I break away from me  
  
And I will break away  
  
Finally, I can live in peace. I know I've done right. I've found something far greater than what I was offered by Maleficent and Ansem. I've found...  
  
I'll find myself today  
  
I want to heal  
  
I want to feel like I'm...  
  
I've found peace of mind. I've found truth. And I've found somewhere I belong.   
  
Somewhere I belong  
  
!  
  
I haven't even beaten KH yet... Stupid Ansem and his stupid stupidness. Reviews, please! 


End file.
